Tag Archive: values

Moral Science

When we were young there used to be special sessions in schools to teach moral values (I am talking about 2- 3 decades back). Where have they disappeared? Many of you would also feel the same when you see the sad state of affairs that is happening around us. A country which boasts of rich cultural heritage is coming to a naught as many of us have forgotten to guide the younger generation.What kind of society are we building? Who is responsible? Our children are getting exposed to the most advanced technology but values are degrading in our society, there is no doubt about it.

We greeted our teachers , rose from our seat when elders entered and were tolerant than the present generation. As I am meeting students from various colleges on a regular basis I do have to remind them to greet the teachers. The beautiful words Namaste , Vanakkam, Namaskaram and any kind of greeting are alien to students. What I see is a kind of indifference in their attitude. Most teachers complain that students make fun of them. We respected our teachers and always craved for their attention.

Many of you would remember your Moral Science classes and how they were enjoyed by every one. Through stories or various narrations good values were instilled in our little minds by the teachers. At home it would be elders giving out beautiful stories and even if it was the same story we enjoyed them. Unconsciously we have imbibed what is good and what is not so good and that has helped us in learning how to behave, talk, share, respect and also learn the importance being honest in life. For many my view would seem outdated but the scenario today is making me believe that the society we lived was much better, though we were not exposed to so much technology.

Today in many schools, there is no time for Moral Science classes as the schedule needs to be filled with curriculum,test and model test for achieving better results. More over working mothers , nuclear families, absence of elderly people around, distractions like TV and computers keeps the children away from getting the valuable lessons of life.

Recently I was shocked when a young kid of just 5 lied to me even with out batting an eyelid. How quickly he was able concoct one shocked me.

The reactions to various situations also differ in kids these days. They are highly irritable, impatient and I see attention deficiency in many children.

A child needs lot of affection, Care and guidance from parents as well as teachers. What is preached must be practiced too.This would go a long way in building a healthier society. Are there Moral Science classes in your child’s school?. As a parent do you spend quality time with your child? Do you have any thing to share regarding above? Please I would like to know your opinion too.
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This post is a continuation of my earlier post “the flute story’. This has nothing to do with the flute, but the last Paragraph where I had mentioned about instilling good values in children. Today when I saw the article “Bullying and physical abuse rife among school students too” in The Hindu (dated 24th June), it prompted me to write some more on the same topic. Why are the children resorting to violence? Are they getting exposed to too much violence on TV and films? Children like to follow their action hero and perform a stunt or two and bash up their friends or siblings without knowing the implications. Children fail to understand the difference between the make believe world and reality.

Very often I come across mothers leaving young kids in front of the TV without keeping a tab on them as to what they are watching. The favorite cartoons in the genre of Tom & Jerry itself; though it amuses children a lot also teaches how they can perform stunts.

When real problems arises, it is a blame game between the school and the parents as each party feels that it is other party’s responsibility to teach good values to children. Children like clay can be molded when young, in any way we want them to be but we need to spend quality time and give loads of love and care.

There is a school right in front of my house and it is my hobby to watch the kids after the school hours, as they wait for their pick up vans. Every day I can see children fighting a la Rajni style making me wonder what influence the media is having on the kids. Sometimes the fun fights leads to serious ones and my mind really gets disturbed.

Parents play the primary role in the life of a youngster and the school comes second. Recently I was observing a mother and child in a vegetable shop. Mother was busy buying vegetables and the child picked up a lemon from the sack and started rolling in his hands. When the mother saw that her hand came forcibly down on the child’s hand and the lemon fell back into the sack. What a way to tell the child not to touch the thing! What are we teaching our children? Instead the mother could have communicated politely what she wanted .It resulted in the child whining with pain. Lesson for child is, if you make a mistake, you get beaten.

Another instance I want to share is, a mother and child were walking on the road and suddenly the child slipped and fell. Even before he got up mother’s hand went down beating him up “Ennada paathu nadakka kudatha elumbu odangidum. (Can’t you walk properly? Your bones will break)”. On one side he was in pain and on top of it mother also gifted him some more. She neither helped her child to his feet nor consoled him. Does she have common sense? Will any one fall just for the heck of it? Now just think who are the perpetrators of violence?

Though corporal punishment is banned in schools the stick still rules. I was conducting a few classes for 5th standard students few years back and was appalled to see every teacher had a cane in her hand along with the chalk piece when they attended duty. The little children asked why I was not carrying one . I told them I don’t need one as I believe that I can influence them in a far more effective way which many teachers failed to understand. I simply loved them and got affection in return and got better results in my subject but became a target of many barbs as all the children were flocking around me. The love for the teacher made them work harder. I have done this not once but many times and it should work for others as well. Love breeds love and violence breeds violence. It is our duty to stand by our children and we must set an example for them. Let the elders become their role models. Let’s stop using violence against them & we will have a better generation ahead where harmony and peace will co-exist.


The flute Story

Children often teach us a lesson or two and my son has surprised me no end. I took it upon me to teach my son all good values to make him a sensible individual. In my earlier post I had mentioned he had sack full of toys and he would keep everything in good condition and after playing I made him to put back the toys in a big bag. To encourage him to do so I would hold the bag and would start counting and he would bring toys one by one. This enabled him to understand that what ever articles he takes out to play/use will have to be put back to its storage position when he has done away with it.

I also told him not to play with others toys with out their permission and if at all he played he should return the same after the play was over. I recollect two situations, how my son surprised me when we went to visit our friends in Calcutta.

Scene 1

We reached the friend’s house. We started chatting. My son was bored as there were only grown ups in that house. Our host brought an old flute made of steel at least two decades old and gave to my son to play. My son was happy. As we were bidding good bye my son reluctantly kept the flute down. Seeing his glum face the host told. ‘Take it home if you want”. My son looked at him and then at me.

I kept quiet. Then my son asked me ‘can we take this home, even before I answered, the host repeated “take it with you’. Then my son looked at him and declared “I am asking my mother if she says ‘Yes’ I will take other wise I won’t”. We all laughed. I told him that as the uncle has given permission, if he wants he can take it with him and he happily carried it home. My heart swelled with pride. My son has remembered the rule I taught.

Scene 2

We visit another friend’s house; they too had a son ,but a little older than mine. When elders chatted both children were playing. After an hour or so we returned. As we were nearing our house I felt my bag was slightly heavy and put my hand inside and felt some toy. I was shocked. What happened to the lessons I taught! We reached home & I opened my bag and found a toy car with one or two wheels missing. I was upset, I questioned him. Pat came the reply. “See the condition of the car. I thought I would repair it and return it to him in good condition”. Should I get angry or understand his innocence. I was confused. I rang up our friend and informed that one of their toys had come to our house for repairs.

But I learnt a good lesson that day, children are children. They are innocent .We should understand them and try to explain things patiently instead of venting our anger on them. I never remember beating my child even once. I thought beating would be painful and it would hurt them mentally also .When god has given us better faculties of reasoning and patience we must use it well. I always felt, when we beat a child we are failing in tackling the problem. In a way we are showing our strength to a weakling. When I come across mothers whacking the innocents with stick or with their tongue my heart bleeds. Are we not teaching violence to our children? We also do many mistakes which are conveniently swept under the carpet. My opinion is mothers play a great role in the formative years of a child and she can make a big difference in the life of her child. When we practise good qualities the kids imitate the same when they are young and when they grow they make that a habit. Good qualities just simply don’t fall out of the sky. It needs to be cultivated.