Tag Archive: physical abuse

Domestic Violence

This is a sequel to my earlier post and again the topic is on violence. When I posted ” Teach them to Love “, by co incidence there was a similar article in an English daily. But here the victims were parents. I wonder why I keep bumping into these kind of things or such news items. These things always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Have you heard of children bashing up parents, especially mothers because they happen to be at home and are at the receiving end very often. When I read the news I was shocked. I have heard of verbal aggression but this was something unheard of.

A girl child when she was refused permission by her mother to get out of the house ended up lashing out, kicking and pulling her mother’s hair which left the mother shaken and crying and the girl guilty once the battle was over.

I think it took place in a foreign land.The mother of the child feeling helpless had to seek the help of an outside agency Parents help line. The survey conducted by them is sufficient to suggest that 30% children in the age group of 13-15 resort to physical aggression. Many parents are afraid to report such things and suffer silently. This particular agency regularly gets distress calls from helpless parents.

I felt it was a ridiculous situation for the parent to be in and expect to call an external agency to solve ones problems when all this could have been done with a little understanding, care and love. But when things get out of control and parents fail to tackle the same a third party may help them to work out things better.

Why do children become violent? Are they rebelling against the diktats, or Are they are giving back the the same treatment that is meted out to them? I believe it is more of the second one as when the child is young it suffers and bears the pain when stronger parent uses force but on growing up when the same child realises it has equal strength if not more, in its sub consious mind it believes it is alright to use force to get even if it is against its own parents who on becoming old tend to become physically weak.

We are speaking of Influence of TV and films. If the atmosphere at home is one that of harmony and peace will not the child respect the same? All these incidents perturb me and I believe it defies any logic. A neighbour of mine keeps nagging her child day in and out who is just into the 5th standard, Will that child have peace at home? Will he be happy? He may keep all the reactions bottled up now as he is young but when he grows up, will he not retaliate?. Many fail to understand that life is like a boomerang whatever thoughts, actions one puts in, it comes back with the same speed and frequency to hit back.

Only silver lining for this post is physical abuse of parents is not happening in our society (?) or so I would like to believe. My only worry is when the present generation is aping the western life style will they resort to physical abuse of parents to have their way? Let God save us from the perils of violence.

Om Shanti!


This post is a continuation of my earlier post “the flute story’. This has nothing to do with the flute, but the last Paragraph where I had mentioned about instilling good values in children. Today when I saw the article “Bullying and physical abuse rife among school students too” in The Hindu (dated 24th June), it prompted me to write some more on the same topic. Why are the children resorting to violence? Are they getting exposed to too much violence on TV and films? Children like to follow their action hero and perform a stunt or two and bash up their friends or siblings without knowing the implications. Children fail to understand the difference between the make believe world and reality.

Very often I come across mothers leaving young kids in front of the TV without keeping a tab on them as to what they are watching. The favorite cartoons in the genre of Tom & Jerry itself; though it amuses children a lot also teaches how they can perform stunts.

When real problems arises, it is a blame game between the school and the parents as each party feels that it is other party’s responsibility to teach good values to children. Children like clay can be molded when young, in any way we want them to be but we need to spend quality time and give loads of love and care.

There is a school right in front of my house and it is my hobby to watch the kids after the school hours, as they wait for their pick up vans. Every day I can see children fighting a la Rajni style making me wonder what influence the media is having on the kids. Sometimes the fun fights leads to serious ones and my mind really gets disturbed.

Parents play the primary role in the life of a youngster and the school comes second. Recently I was observing a mother and child in a vegetable shop. Mother was busy buying vegetables and the child picked up a lemon from the sack and started rolling in his hands. When the mother saw that her hand came forcibly down on the child’s hand and the lemon fell back into the sack. What a way to tell the child not to touch the thing! What are we teaching our children? Instead the mother could have communicated politely what she wanted .It resulted in the child whining with pain. Lesson for child is, if you make a mistake, you get beaten.

Another instance I want to share is, a mother and child were walking on the road and suddenly the child slipped and fell. Even before he got up mother’s hand went down beating him up “Ennada paathu nadakka kudatha elumbu odangidum. (Can’t you walk properly? Your bones will break)”. On one side he was in pain and on top of it mother also gifted him some more. She neither helped her child to his feet nor consoled him. Does she have common sense? Will any one fall just for the heck of it? Now just think who are the perpetrators of violence?

Though corporal punishment is banned in schools the stick still rules. I was conducting a few classes for 5th standard students few years back and was appalled to see every teacher had a cane in her hand along with the chalk piece when they attended duty. The little children asked why I was not carrying one . I told them I don’t need one as I believe that I can influence them in a far more effective way which many teachers failed to understand. I simply loved them and got affection in return and got better results in my subject but became a target of many barbs as all the children were flocking around me. The love for the teacher made them work harder. I have done this not once but many times and it should work for others as well. Love breeds love and violence breeds violence. It is our duty to stand by our children and we must set an example for them. Let the elders become their role models. Let’s stop using violence against them & we will have a better generation ahead where harmony and peace will co-exist.